Monday, September 05, 2016

Living The New Way Now


Dressed and ready to go out to dinner
It's been a little more than two weeks since my mom moved in with us. It's been surprisingly easy adjusting our minimal routines and accommodating her needs into our life. So far so good. She is a fairly quiet woman who enjoys reading a well-written novel and a good newspaper. So we have been supplying her with books (and my sister puts new things to read on her Kindle) and having the New York Times delivered to our house everyday.
The new recliner
And yet, we haven't been going out much for our usual walks. Or we have been going out, but have been distracted by things going on, things needing to be done. Boxes unpacked. Doctor appointments made. Scheduling haircuts and visits to the California DMV for an ID card address changes. Dealing with the newspaper when they couldn't figure out how to deliver to our door for the first week she was here. Things we would not have thought about at all three weeks ago. Now they are part of our everyday lives, replacing the things we might have done or seen or read. But I look up while I'm typing this and see her reading in the new recliner that got delivered on Friday. She is comfortable in it, and can usually remember how to press the right buttons to lift her feet and lower the back. It's just so good to see her happy and healthy.

And then I remember that Roger is napping as I type this because he spent most of the night awake and in pain. He had spent a good part of the past four days removing a mirror in my mom's bathroom that had been stupidly glued to the wall. Then he fixed the wall, spackled it, repainted it, and hung the newly purchased medicine cabinet along with the beautiful new matching shelf he built. While drilling the last screw in, it slipped and he drilled the fourth finger on his left hand. OW OW OW. Good thing we have the bandages, gauze pads, and finger cots left over from when I cut off the finger pad on my finger in November 2015. We are getting to be first-aid pros.

I still run outside to peek at the sky. Even a contrail can wow me these days. Ah, the skies over suburbia.

32 comments:

  1. Wonderful to see your mother looking so relaxed and peaceful and at home. Your home is lovely inside and outside. Roger did a great job with the cabinet. Sorry to hear about the injury to his hand. Hope he sleeps better tonight and that the healing goes well. Your sky is so blue. Our sky has been blue, too, although we've had the usual cloudy rainy days that go with the first week of September. It's a good time of year for cloud watching and night sky watching. Orion to the east.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah the perils of DIY, tell me about it, has caused me a lot of hospital visits. Good you are looking after your mum

    ReplyDelete
  3. ooo sorry to hear about that hand. We've had our share of home repair (and cooking) injuries. Your mother looks happy and content.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ach! I feel Roger's pain. And I feel your adjustment to contentment. Good thoughts to all three of you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sorry about his hand but good on all the rest. Your mom looks great as does your home.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are such a lovely daughter. I am glad your mom is doing so well. So sorry about Roger's injury, though!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hope Roger heals quickly, and well. I love seeing your Mom look so happy and healthy. You are all lucky to have one another!

    ReplyDelete
  8. am-- We had a foggy foggy August, but things have really cleared up these past few days and the skies have been beautifully blue. Thank you for your kind words and good wishes.

    Bill-- I thought you might be able to relate to Roger's injuries! Yes, the perils of DIY.

    isabelita-- Thank you for the good vibes.

    Sharon-- Ah yes, cooking and home repair injuries. It's a way of life here!

    John-- It's an interesting transition. My mom makes it pretty easy, and I'm trying to learn how to roll with it all.

    Rain-- Thank you for your kind words. My mom seems pretty happy here.

    Maryanne-- It's so good for my heart to see the words "lovely daughter." I do try. Thank you.

    Kate-- Roger is feeling much better already. We all do feel pretty lucky to have each other. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your Mom looks happy and comfortable. Sorry about Roger's injury though. Many changes, but you're taking them in stride.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wonderful post. Mom looks great. I look forward to making the trek up there someday for a visit!

    ReplyDelete
  11. YAY to everything but the drilled finger - and BOO to that. Hope he heals soon and Mom continues to be well and happy in her new home.

    ReplyDelete
  12. So glad things are working out for your mother. Sending healing thoughts to Roger.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Agnus what's her name was just made St. Teresa for devoting her life to making dying patients suffer the hell of her zealot care giving. The true saints are caregivers who know sacrifice as love. What an ultimate joy it is to care for a loved one.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Bev-- My mom is pretty happy here. We're learning the dance of living together. Just changed Roger's bandage. Oy. What a boo-boo.

    Tara-- I'll tell my mom you said she looks great. She'll love that. Yes, we'd love to see you and Steve. Any time!

    kenju-- Yes, BOO to that boo-boo. It's a bit of a mess, but will definitely heal. Thank you for your good wishes.

    NC-- Thank you so much for your healing thoughts.

    MandT-- I was thinking about all the stuff I'd read about Mother Teresa over the years. Yikes. I love what you say about saints as caregivers. It is truly a sacrifice of time, but a gift of the heart. Finding the balance is the real work.

    ReplyDelete
  15. How wonderful that you, roger and your Mom are adjusting so well. She looks so happy and comfortable. Nothing like a good recliner, good book and family close.
    Here I thought roger just had muscle aches from the project. Yikes, that had to hurt a bunch. You all are getting quite adept at patching each other up. Hope the pain eases soon for him.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh dear, I can imagine the pain in Roger's hand. All these delicate nerve endings.
    But all will be well and your mother looks very happy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Arkansas Patti-- Yes, adjusting is definitely the word. We give each other plenty of space and enjoy the times we all sit together. Thank you for the good wishes for Roger.

    Sabine-- The pain has subsided for the most part, except when he inadvertently uses that finger. It's going to be quite a healing process. My mom is happy here, and we're so glad. Hope you are doing well. We're all thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. so wonderful and loving to bring your mom into your home. hope the adjustment continues (more or less) smoothly!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Flexibility is the best friend of those sharing space, and the older I get the harder it becomes for me! I am more and more married to the familiar! So she is truly a west coast girl, it seems, despite the years east! I am so glad you have this time together.

    You and Roger have got to treat your fingers more carefully! By the way, how is yours now - did it finally fully heal and do you have tactile sensation in that finger?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Linda-- So good of you to stop by the blog and leave us a comment. I love hearing from you! Thank you.

    Sky-- Yes, flexibility. My mom spent half of her life in NJ and half in California. She really does love it out west. Virginia was pretty socially isolating for her. So this is good. It's true that Roger and I have to be more careful. My finger did not exactly heal. Still have a bump on it and it is weirdly sensitive, and I can't really tell how well its tactile senses work.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love this post, with all the love there is. Well, except for the drill. Inter generational living presents both challenges and rewards. I'm sure the latter outweighs the former. Hugs to all.

    ReplyDelete
  22. so happy for you that all goes well, your mother included. Re Roger's finger, photos accepted starting anytime.Will talk this week.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I was going to say that your mom was lucky to have you two, but as I read further I figured you all were lucky to have each other. Keep the first aid kit close.

    ReplyDelete
  24. It is wonderful that you have your mother with you in your home.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yankee T-- It's true about inter-generational living. But I always think back to our ancestors thousands and thousands of years ago. It's how we've always lived. Hard to recreate, but so worth the effort. Thank you for your kind words.

    Steve-- Thank you. I took some pics today, but they're not as good as I would have wanted. Hard to see the extent of the damage. I'll try again.

    Dave-- You made us laugh out loud. Thank you for that.

    Colette-- We are happy and learning this new dance.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I totally missed this post. Just saw it by accident. I told you that your mom is the most popular topic on this blog! Extended families are un-American and anti-capitalist. Seriously.
    So when I was having my house built and the builder took over a year and I needed him to wrap it up after having to postpone the (refinance) closing once, he was doing the very last of the work and I was sooo relieved the 14-month process was finally coming to an end. Such a relief! Then he emailed me saying he was being prepped for hand surgery. He accidentally put a drill into his hand and ended up with an infection. Unlike roger, he didn't take proper care of it right away.
    Yay about your mom's contentment and supply of good reading. Boo about Roger's injury.

    ReplyDelete
  27. As soon as you wrote "drill," I flashed back to your finger!

    ReplyDelete
  28. CCorax-- You are abolutely right about extended families being un-American and anti-Capitalist. That's why our families look the way they do these days. Such craziness. Who knew drills could be such weapons of destruction? Not me!

    Scott-- So did we. All that blood and gauze and bandaids and commotion. I think we've had enough!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Robin Andrea you are a lovely daughter!
    I can see that your Mom is happy and healthy. Love her pictures and she looks beautiful in front of the bookshelf. I can see that your house is beautiful and charming.
    I am sorry about Roger's finger. Hope he will be well soon.
    Beautiful photo of the sky.

    Thanks so much for your nice congratulations to Sofia's anniversary. She asks me to thank you too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. sonia-- Thank you so much for your thoughtful and kind words. We all appreciate immensely.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Robin I'm late to the blog post (beginning of the school year is always all-consuming ��),but I'm so happy to know that your mom has moved in and things are going well. Sending all my love to you, Roger, and your dear mother.

    ReplyDelete