Monday, March 18, 2019

The First Year Goes By

We came to Roger's family beach house to be calmed by the sea and send out our love to those whose ashes have been scattered here. My father, Roger's parents, and our kitty cat Bonsai are here. I had hoped to have some of my mom's ashes to add to these blue waters on this first anniversary of her death, but I don't have them yet. I'm sure I will before this house has been sold.

My parents first came to visit us here at the beach house in the very early 1990s shortly after Roger and I had fallen in love. Here they are when all of us were so much younger. My dad was not well in this photo. My mom was holding him up. They loved it here, and we were so glad they had a chance to visit us before my dad died in 1992.

Later my mom would come and visit with us in all of our wanderings. She flew to Port Townsend, WA and fell in love with eagles and minus tides. She flew to Grass Valley and stayed a month with us. She loved the garden and  the Sierra mountain range. She loved seeing the Yuba River and sitting on the deck in the hot foothills sun. But what she really loved best was visiting us at the beach house.
My mom with my twin brother
She loved this view. She loved to breathe in the sea air. She loved to sit on the deck and say hello to all those who passed by. She loved that she got to see so much wildlife leaping in the bay. She loved it all.
My mom with my sister watching whales
So we drove 350 miles to look out at these blue waters and remember her here in a place she loved. The Yahrzeit candle is burning for her. We will walk the minus tide on this day and scatter flowers in her memory. We will shout out our love for her to the sea. We will remember.


28 comments:

  1. There is so much love here. I can feel it.

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  2. A beautiful way to remember and a wonerful place to be.

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    1. Billy-- It is a beautiful way to remember. We are so grateful to have this view today.

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  3. Loved seeing you together in the photos. I'm sure it feels good to have returned for awhile. Sometimes we need that to happen.

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    1. bev-- Yes, this is a farewell in so many ways. We'll be back to clean things up and get it ready, but this trip is about farewells.

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  4. Your hearts and hands were touching the same places, either in our physical world or the one that exists as light just out of sight.

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    1. Barbara-- Yes, our hearts and hands. I love that so much.

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  5. Nice tribute to your Mom. What a grand lady.

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    1. Red-- Thank you for that. She would have loved to read these comments!

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  6. I see where you got your love of nature. It is truly your families happy place. I am sure you can feel her presence there. What delightful views and it must be hard to sell a home that has so many wonderful memories. But that is what pictures and our hearts are for--to keep the memories alive.

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    1. Patti-- Yes, this what pictures and hearts are for. My mom is the daughter of immigrants who came to this country in 1921. She would have never guessed that this is a view she would have when she visited her daughter and son-in-law on vacation. Yes, pictures and hearts are for our memories always.

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  7. This is so very beautiful. May it comfort you to know that you brought your beloved mother such joy. There's just something about her that has stolen my heart.

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    1. 37paddington-- I love how you connect with my mom. She would have loved that so much. Thank you thank you.

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  8. What a wonderful way to remember your mother and the others who have gone before. I hope you shouted loudly to the sea. It helps.

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    1. NCmountainwoman-- As I type this we have a few more hours before the tide is low enough to walk below the cliffs. Then we will shout out to her and scatter flowers. And send her all the love from near and far hearts.

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  9. Beautiful photos. I'm so glad you're getting to spend this time in a place that's so meaningful to you. Did you live in Grass Valley at one point? My aunt and uncle lived there for about 25 years, beginning in the late '80s!

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    1. Steve-- Roger and I lived in Grass Valley from 2010 to 2014. We had a five acre place outside of town. We both missed the cooling ocean air, so headed back to the north coast where we've been ever since. I love that you had family in Grass Valley. Makes me wonder how they found their way there.

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    2. Well, they lived in Costa Mesa for years and raised their children there. Then they decided to leave SoCal and head north for retirement. They loved Grass Valley but I never saw their place there. Funny that you lived there at the same time! My aunt and uncle both died within the last couple of years, so now I have no family connection to GV.

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  10. From CCorax-- I cannot add anything to what's been said. This brought tears to my eyes and of course triggers memories of my mother and places she loved.
    You'll have shouted by the time you read this. And the waves will carry your mother's soft voice back affirming her love for you.

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    1. CCorax-- We scattered flower petals. We shouted. We told her how much we miss and love her. We waved to her. We walked home and sighed.

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  11. I am late in reading this post, Robin, but the happy memories of time together came through very clearly. I liked how you planned to remember your late mother and sure she "knows" as well.

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    1. Beatrice-- We walked the minus tide; we scattered flowers in the bay. We shouted out our love to her. Yes, I'm sure she "knows!"

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  12. I wish I could tell you that grief gets lighter but it has been my experience that it doesn't. It changes and we adapt. Accepting loss and grief as part of our lives.
    And happy memories to sustain us.

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    1. Sabine-- Grief changes over time. My father has been gone now for 27 years. That loss taught me how to hold my grief, to love, to grow, to accept. And yes, happy memories do sustain su.

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  13. If that house could talk right? What a rich tale that would be. I feel like it's a sacred place for me. I feel like its one of the few places were I was born again. I'll be sad when it is no longer in the family. How fortunate for your loved ones to be scattered there in the Bay. Jeff still rests on my book shelf. :--)

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    1. Jsk-- It really tugged our hearts when we were there for ten days. I can't even imagine what it must feel like for Roger and his siblings to have been going there their entire lives. So many changes in our lives as we get older, so many ways to say good bye and close chapters of old much-loved books.

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  14. It is there that I reunited with Roger and Prill after bumming around Europe. It's where I first met and fell in love wth 'baby Devin'. The place had a healing effect for me.
    The creaks, groans and slanted floors and ivy growing around the stone fire place. It was also a great place to 'trip'. I felt safe there. I feel fortunate to have had a little bit of history there myself. (Thanks Mack Family) I can't imagine how it might be for them as they had so much of their childhood wrapped up in it. Families raised there etc. Weddings etc. More letting go for you too. Alas "the times they are a-changin" once again still.

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